i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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