i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
