Your tits are I can't wait for
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
