I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
