Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize