For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
