There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
