So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
