What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize