she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
