Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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