Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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