We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
