I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize