physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
