i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
