Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
