If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
