soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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