This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
