1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
