he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
