She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Randomize