What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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