He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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