Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
