I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
