I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
