Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
