You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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