I need help removing her.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
