First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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