Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
