he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
