are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
love makes seman taste better
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
