I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
