Banned from zoo.
Again?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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