i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I wish you could order shots online.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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