at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
