So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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