a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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