Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Screwed.edu
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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