we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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