Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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