Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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