I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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