You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
