dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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