she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
