Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
