we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
