Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My dick has a subreddit
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
