So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My penis needs a shock collar
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
