i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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