a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
