420 ftw
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
