Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize