there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
