He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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