I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
