if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
